Soul mates and remarriage after the death of a spouse.

A controversial topic, I have come to discover. If you’re atheist then you don’t believe in souls– you may be excused from reading this. Unless your goal is to mock me for believing in the magician in the sky, then by all means, fill up your tank. If you believe in God then you might not believe in such a concept of soul mates depending on how you interpret the Bible. I’d like to think that many Christians do believe in the sort of love and bonding that goes well beyond these earthly bodies. Where do you stand?

In my book I refer to my husband as my soul mate. In fact, one might even consider my memoir a love story about soul mates. In it, I give many references as to why I truly feel my husband is a mate whom my soul is destined to love and attach to, my other half. The story line demonstrates how true love creates an ideal portal for evil to infiltrate our souls, it also shows how soul mates can withstand anything and can never truly be broken.

This question, therefore, is for those of you who both believe in God as well as the idea of soul mates. When a spouse dies, if the widow or widower remarried, then with who shall eternity be spent once he/she passes as well? Will you be a trio? The answer may be as simple as, remarriage after death is only an option to those who were not married to their soul mate. Because, let’s face it, not everyone is fortunate enough to find a soul mate during their journey here on earth. However, I have known many who have remarried, even though it appeared the love they shared with the one who passed was genuine and true. But, again, maybe it only appeared that way, but in really wasn’t so. I can only express my feelings from the perspective of my soul and my relationship with my husband, I can’t explain how anyone else feels within their relationships. There are many different types of love, science will tell you that.

I posed this question once on social media and was met with instant reproach. How dare I talk about such a sensitive subject?  (Sensitive subjects are my thing, I’m a writer.) It became abundantly clear that I had hit sore spot, and it surprised me how many people cocked an attitude over my simple curiosity.  Nevertheless, I picked and scratched at the spot—that’s how I roll. Was it so rude of me to believe that widows and widowers could be without a significant other for the remainder of their mortal lives, after a spouse passes? “We deserve happiness”, they would say. “No one should have to be alone”, was the consensus thrown at me.

Here is what confuses me. First, why is it believed that relationships with physical intimacy are the only answer to combat loneliness after the death of a spouse? Why not move in with a child, a parent, a friend? Maybe even an arrangement with a fellow widow or widower, for the purposes of social or economic needs. There are other types of companionship. If you truly believe in God then you should know that this life is ultra-temporary, just a grain of sand compared to eternity. We all die, a span of one or one hundred years are virtually equal in the grand scheme of things. Are we that impatient? Or is it a lack of true faith?

And, if you truly believe in the afterlife, then don’t you think the soul of your spouse that has passed would be waiting for you? But instead you say things like, “they would want me to be happy”.  Ok, but why is remarriage the only way to be happy?

I don’t mean to be insensitive, I simply can’t understand how those who appear to be solid believers chose to ignore such things. How deep does your faith go?

It’s none of my business—I get that. I’m not trying to live anyone’s life for them, I can only explain things from my perspective because I am not anyone else but me. This is why I chose not to care if you are gay or not—not my life. We can only live our own lives, not anyone else’s—though I’m sure there are plenty of mothers out there who would beg to differ—myself included.  I can’t and don’t judge anyone on how they chose to live their lives—I can’t help but wonder, though, a part of what makes me a human. I’m simply curious. Am I so different from everyone else? Does anyone out there share in my curiosity over this topic?

I know the bible tells us marriage doesn’t exist in heaven. I get that. Why should marriage exists there? What need is there for such labels outside of the restrictions of mortality? Just because marriage doesn’t exist, however, doesn’t mean that soul mates don’t exist. And I am aware that according to the Bible marriage after the death of a spouse is acceptable, but it doesn’t say it is necessary. The bible does say that we will spend eternity with our loved ones, does it not? Either way, it is clear that the Bible is not clear on such issues.

How could I look for a second love if my husband were to pass before I do? That doesn’t make any sense to me. I will die too, maybe a year after him maybe fifty. Time is merely an illusion, after all. And, yes, I have already told my husband he is not allowed to remarry if I pass first, and I know he wouldn’t.

What Dreams May Come, starring Robin Williams, will always be one of my favorite movies. Maybe because it entertains my beliefs. The movie Safe Haven gives the opposing view—a good movie but it drove me absolutely crazy. If you haven’t watched either of them I recommend you do.

Without beating me up too bad, please share your thoughts.